I walk out into the desert. I dare not look back. I know all that I have left behind… it is everything that I’ve ever known. It is all behind me now… my past, my family, my community… the fear of being found out… the fear of being confronted… the fear of being misunderstood and condemned. All those things that I feared, they all came to pass. It’s all behind me just as my beloved village is behind me now.
I might have been stoned to death and perhaps that would have been easier, to die a quick death at their hands rather than face this exile into the unknown, alone. I wonder how I will die or how I might live, be it the will of The Goddess. I surrender body and spirit into her loving arms, into her heart, where I reside eternally, whether in a body or not.
Let me sit a moment and pause to be here, now. Above me an endless sky stretches to far horizons. A hot sun burns through the early morning coolness. Mid-day will be scorching, but in this moment I am ok. I am ok and I am free. My breath deepens and I feel my body broaden into the space around me. A raven flies overhead, aware of my presence as I am aware of hers. I want to fly with her. We are both free, but she knows better than I how to live freely in this wild desert. She knows where to find water. She knows how to feed herself from this seemingly barren land.
“May I follow you?” I ask.
“Only if you will shape-shift and become a raven,” she replies.
I need a few moments to reflect on my humanness before I’ll be ready to shape-shift.
Am I sad? Am I grieving? I don’t feel those feelings right now. Am I angry about what happened? I don’t feel that either.
I know my heart, my truth, my integrity and my sovereignty. In fact, it is easier to feel my Self now that I’m out here alone and free of the pointing fingers, admonishing looks and berating words. They thought they knew who and what I was but they only saw their own shadows projected on me. I am the daughter of The Goddess, that’s who I am. My strength and power are of Her. My wild passion and fierce wisdom are of Her. The creative life force pulsing through me is of Her.
The raven is my ally. She too is of The Mother, carrying magic and messages from the deep dark womb of our Creatrix. My black hair shines like the sheen on raven’s feathers. We are sisters. She doesn’t need to hide her essence and neither do I.
I am free. I am free. I am free.
I know who I am in Truth.
I know what I am in Truth.
I know where I stand and what I stand upon… Truth.
I AM a Divine Feminine Christ.
…And with that recognition I take flight in the form of a raven. Nothing of my human form remains.